This year, I’m thankful for:
a burning urge to actually do a resolution list. that’s kind of a weird thank you, but I can’t remember the last time I made a resolution list that I was actually excited about. But I feel like this year is different- not because of me, but because of God. And for pete’s sake, that statement in and of itself- “this feels DIFFERENT”- how is that kind of feeling not reason for thanks all by itself?
and don’t know how these resolutions will pan out- maybe I don’t lose the weight, maybe not every project takes off, but not only am I feeling a compulsion to experience some rebirth in my life, so far it’s married to an understanding that none of this will happen apart from God’s intervention, and that none of it would matter in the first place without God anyway. personal improvement in the context of the Christian life is always walked on a fine line between the need to walk away from passivity (a particular bane for me) and the need to let go and let God take the wheel. It’s a line i don’t tend to walk well- I go from the extremes of doing nothing and hoping God opts to change me cinderella/fairy godmother style, or going full tilt, but for all the wrong reasons- pride, image, trying to earn God’s lover. I know there will be times when i go both places with these resolutions, but I’m praying I don’t stay at either end for too long. In the middle, there is earnest effort that’s a response to God’s love instead of a blasphemous attempt at gaining it. In the middle, there’s grace and peace. In the middle, there’s less of me and more of Jesus, and that will make all the difference.
